Sunday, April 19, 2009

downside up

from the down side looking upward
i see life
how it has and has not been lived.

on the front side looking back
i see an old child.

from the hind side moving forward
i feel a fresh light filling my chest
and i am a fluorescent filament.

from atop this hill i see
how foolish i have been
believing the next move will make me
seeking a strong storm to break me.

on this side of yesterday,
i see that yesterday is.

yesterday i am born
yesterday i am beginning
yesterday i become.

Thursday, April 9, 2009

drawing you into the loop

for those of you who may not yet know, a huge loop de loop of change has been drawn in the middle of my life. i have resigned from my position as US Coordinator of the Migrant Resource Center. i have come to recognize that, for me, such emotionally taxing work is impossible to sustain without a supportive community.
the lovely beth van dam (affectionately known as my mother-sister) will be coming down to the border to haul me and my dog and some stuff up to seattle where i will be able to see bis and andrew get married. then i will stay for a while. probably 6-9 months.
two days ago i received news that my grandfather passed away. he and i were close and we had an agreement with each other that i would live with him and take care of him when he was unable to do so for himself. i had always hoped to be with him when he went so that he would not be alone or scared. but he died on the floor beside his bed and was found by police 5 days later. it is a sad story and i wish it could have been different. i have been letting it hurt for a while. today's sunshine in philadelphia and purple's presence has lifted my spirits.
and so...
there are thoughts i have been having of moving to south philadelphia within the year, settling in for a little while and going back to school. it would be a few years for me to leisurely complete my prerequisites for natural medicine/midwifery and i think i would like to do that here.
as for now i am, as my dear friend jacob groves sings, "dirty, broke and free"